


i'll be with you from dusk till dawn

by downforce



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 22:04:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12118158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/downforce/pseuds/downforce
Summary: Sebastian finds out he can't reach for the stars without getting hurt, Kimi is there to pick up the pieces.





	i'll be with you from dusk till dawn

**Author's Note:**

> Because today has been cruel.

The noises around him suddenly died down as he closed the door behind himself, leaning against the cool wood and letting the tension ebb out of his body for the first time in hours. His knees felt weak and he walked into the small bathroom, turning on the water with shaky hands. 

He looked at himself in the mirror, studied the bags under his eyes and the hard edge around his mouth. This wasn’t the same Sebastian he had looked at when he had left the hotel room earlier this evening. The other Sebastian had sparkling eyes and a smile on his face, the excitement of the upcoming race pumping adrenaline through his body.

Now, he felt discouraged, empty and bitter. He couldn’t turn off the racing thoughts of what could have been, the What Ifs, the burning questions that would never be answered. Who knows, maybe it was solely his own fault for triggering the crash even though the Stewards had decided otherwise. Maybe he wasn’t a championship-worthy driver anymore, maybe he should be glad it was over like this.

He sighed at the broken Sebastian in the mirror and splashed his face with refreshingly cool water, trying to wash away the sweat that just reminded him of where he should be now - in a car, racing for a victory and aiming for the stars.

In the distance he could hear the cars speeding by, the walls not being able to keep out the sound of screaming engines. God, how he wished he was still down there amongst them instead of having to hide in his hotel rooms, away from the judging glances and disappointed faces. 

He walked to the balcony, opening the door and leant against the frame. He stood there for what felt like an eternity, staring at the brightly lit streets and listening to the noises of a race taken place. He stood there until he saw bright fireworks light up the sky, the fireworks that were supposed to celebrate himself rather than anyone else. He had imagined it, crossing the line first on a track he adored, with the fireworks exploding above him and people cheering him on from the grandstands. Oh, how wrong he had been.

Sebastian didn’t turn around when he heard the door opening behind him, he wasn’t ready to focus back on reality, the present and the bitter feelings that would inevitably return to his heart. Instead he stayed still for another moment, feeling like an outsider to the world, a mere spectator of what was happening at this very moment.

He blinked when he felt a hand brushing his shoulder, mercilessly forcing him back to focus on the person that had intruded. It was Kimi, of course it was his Kimi, standing behind him and looking at him with a half-smile. He could see that Kimi had come here as soon as possible, his hair still wet from a shower and the rumpled shirt not matching his pants.

They didn’t speak for a while, Sebastian allowing Kimi’s hand to rest on his shoulder. He knew Kimi wanted, no needed, more than just a simple gesture, but he wasn’t ready to fully face him just yet. It was easier to stay still, caught between reality and surreality; one hand reaching to the stars, the other brushing Kimi’s shirt. 

When the fireworks finally died down and the cheers of the distant crowd went quiet, he felt Kimi’s hand wander to his own, grabbing it and squeezing it softly, trying to get him to come back into the room.

Sebastian allowed Kimi to lead him to the bed where he crawled under the covers, burying his head in the pillows and sighing deeply. It was the first sound that left his mouth since Kimi had come and he responded by settling down next to Sebastian and bringing him close, letting Sebastian’s head resting on his chest and carding a hand softly through his hair.

Sebastian let out a couple of shuddery breaths, dangerously close to losing himself just like he did in the race. He listened to Kimi’s steady heartbeat, allowing his own heart to match the beats and breathed in sync with Kimi, letting peace seep into his body. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into the silent room, “for ruining your race.” He felt Kimi’s hand tighten in his hair momentarily and closed his burning eyes when Kimi grabbed his chin, forcing him to look up.

“You are such an idiot,” Kimi simply told him before leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to Sebastian’s lips.  “If anyone needs to apologise, it’s life. You didn’t fuck us over, life did.” 

Sebastian huffed a laugh at Kimi’s brash words and leaned up to kiss him this time, a hesitant kiss that turned into a reassuring one when he felt Kimi respond.

“I don’t know how I am supposed to come back from this,” he admitted after breaking the kiss, voicing his deepest fear, the insecurity that would keep him up for coming weeks. Kimi shook his head, smiling softly.

“If there’s anything certain in life, then it is you not giving up until the very end,” Kimi said, his hand returning to stroke Sebastian’s face, running his fingers along his cheekbones down to his lips, touching them like they were the most precious thing in his life.

“A bad weekend doesn’t change anything,” he continued, his hand continuing down and stopping on his neck to feel Sebastian’s pulse. “It doesn’t change your dream, your goal.”

He stroked Sebastian’s side and rested his hand over his heart. “It doesn’t change your love for racing and winning with this team. It might have changed our expectations and the way we have to take, but it will never change you.”

Sebastian breathed in shakily, Kimi’s words burning themselves into his mind. How could he even doubt himself for a moment when he had this strong man standing behind him, believing in him and following him every step he takes. 

He sat up, taking Kimi’s face between his hands and letting himself smile for the first time this evening. He leaned down and kissed Kimi hard, trying to put everything he felt into this kiss and he knew his feelings were understood.

Settling down next to Kimi again, he let his head rest on his shoulder and grabbed Kimi’s hand, squeezing it in understanding and new hope. This wasn’t over, they would overcome.


End file.
